The People Who Still Play World of Warcraft Like It’s 2006

Everybody tries to recreate the wonder. I recently played Guild Wars 2 and that has all the mysteriousness you want, but it won’t be the same, because you’re not that age again. It’s not 2004. You can’t just bury yourself in your bedroom and get immersed. I’ve got stuff going on. I’ve got a job, I’ve got a wife, I’m an adult. It’s not a bad thing, it’d be scarier if you hadn’t changed at all. You’re partially nostalgic for the game, but you’re mostly just missing that worry-free lifestyle.

Nostalgia is a hell of a drug.

How do I get rid of these excess goat corpses around my Science Hole?

Try sacrificing a few goats to Satan behind the party near the Goat Protest. You’ll have plenty if you’ve got the power to summon infinite goats.

If you haven’t got that power, humans will have to do. Attack a few party-goers to knock them down, then lick them and drag them up the mountain onto a large glowing satanic symbol. You can’t miss it.

You’ll need five sacrifices in total before you unlock demonic powers. You’ll be able to summon a black hole with Satan’s power, and with that black hole, you should be able to gather all the goats together into one goat singularity, and then carry that singularity elsewhere on the map.

I recommend hiding your goat bodies under the water slide.

Forbes profile of Notch after Minecraft

It’s easy to come away from this thinking Notch is a bit of an entitled asshole, but I think this is a humanizing look at what it’s like to be just the right guy in the right place at the right time, and who lucked into creating a singular cultural phenomenon. He’s just a guy, like he says:

“People were starting to talk about the concept of Notch, or whatever, like the ideal,” he says, parsing through his two identities. “I thought back to when I met my idols and [realized], ‘Oh s–t, these are real people.'”

I Used To Play Video Games But Now I Don’t

When he did have time he always had to download updates on his PS3. Then the games required updates. Most of you understand the quandary: when you only have a spare hour of leisure time in your day, every second counts. A series of updates might actually ruin your planned night of gaming.

The modern gaming user experience is a nightmare of progress bars. Reminds me of this tweet I saw a few weeks ago:

A thoughtful look at Law and Order SVU’s Goomergort episode

The secret best line in the piece:

SVU takes place in an alternate universe where the NYPD takes sexual-assault victims completely seriously, prioritizes their safety and dishes out vigilante beatdowns in defense of marginalized citizens rather than against them