Rez HD is marvelous in every way. It’s a port that’s gotten better with age. I noticed in my playthrough last night that it draws a line between enemy and background by having the enemies never pulsate to the music. The game world draws a line between what is good (the player and the world) and what is bad (things you can shoot) by how things react to music, which is pretty subtle but a really cool effect. It’s most apparent in the boss in area 2 that you get wrapped up in. In other news, you can use extra controllers as extra vibration feedback, which is awesome.

Other than that, it really sucks when you play Burnout with someone who can’t do a challenge, but you don’t want to cancel the challenge and be like, yeah you suck let’s do another one, but if you try to tell them how to do the challenge you just come off as a condescending douchebag.

One DS game I’ve been kicking around for a while, in one form or another, is Elite Beat Agents, an Americanized sequel to Japanese developer iNiS’s (Guitaroo Man) rhythm game hit, Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan. I had actually originally played an imported copy of the original game, but I wasn’t going to review an obscure Japanese title and say “Hey guys this is awesome too bad it’d be really expensive to buy it and also you can’t really understand it.” Because I had played the Japanese game, I took my time getting around to playing the American version, released last fall, and, well, it’s still really awesome.

Elite Beat Agents is a rhythm game where players have to poke and drag various points on the DS’s touch screen in time with music. The core gameplay works fantastically, but what really pushes the game over the edge from good to great is the presentation. Each song has a comic panel-based story to go along with it, and the player’s performance in the song affects the outcome of the story. Most of them are extremely silly and surreal, and they’re very fun to watch, and the art itself is fantastic.

The best thing about them, however, is introducing story into rhythm games, and the consequence that goes with it. The idea behind Elite Beat Agents is stupid, but really fun: You are a part of a secret government agency (the titular agents) that is deployed whenever someone really needs help. You arrive on the scene, generally in a dramatic fashion alongside your two backup dancers, and dance to some rockin’ music until the target’s problems are solved. The consequences of losing are much higher than, say, Guitar Hero. Losing a song there means the lead singer shaking his head at you AGAIN, losing a song here means that adorable puppy never makes it home to his owner, or any number of other scenarios.

One thing I must say about this game is that it is hard. This is the hardest (good) rhythm game I have ever played. “Free Bird” on expert has nothing on the insane precision required to best some of the songs on the hardest difficulty here. The main difference is that Elite Beat Agents, like DDR and Samba de Amigo before it, measures exactly how close you were to the beat. A perfect hit will net a 300, while one pretty close but off-beat will give you 100 or 50. On the highest difficulty, you pretty much have to be perfect at it. This is a stark contrast to Guitar Hero, which is mainly concerned at making you feel like a rocker rather than the exact precision of your strumming.

A few items of note. One: It is hard to play Elite Beat Agents with just the DS’s speakers. I find I perform much better with my DS on a pair of good headphones or plugged into a set of computer speakers or the line in jack on my stereo. Of course, it is both impossible and pointless to attempt to play this game with the volume down. In-class DS players, be warned. Two: Elite Beat Agents is a fast paced game that rewards extreme precision with the stylus. It is at the very least impractical to play in the car or on the bus. Paradoxically, it is almost a handheld game in name only, and is best experienced with the volume on your stereo up while on the couch.

However, the game is good enough to overcome these restrictions. I have no issue with the gameplay itself, however unforgiving it may be. Play it.

Microsoft’s Xbox Live Arcade download service has been one of my favorite things about the Xbox 360 thus far. For between $5 and $15, you can download any number of classic arcade titles or even newly developed games created specifically for Xbox Live Arcade. Most of the games fall for $5 or $10, and you can demo any of them before buying. Despite this, I’m still going to review all the ones I’ve bought so far.

“Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved” is the quintessential Arcade title, from what I understand, since it was the standout title at the system’s launch, and has maintained its popularity. I’ve written about it once before, in a way, talking about the freeware PC/Mac clone “GridWars.” The guy who wrote “GridWars” has since received a cease and desist notice, and for good reason – it’s pretty much the exact same thing! The thing in question–an exceedingly frantic arcade shooter that takes advantage of the new-ish technology that is dual analog sticks–is definitely worth the $5 they’re charging. Verdict: Buy.

“Lumines Live!” is an enhanced port of the PlayStation Portable puzzle game/launch title. The player must make 2 x 2 blocks of one color out of 2 x 2 mixed color blocks that fall. It’s really, really fun. Unfortunately, the pricing structure is, shall we say, lacking. It costs $15. I can understand this. There’s a lot more content here than your average Arcade title. Unfortunately, it’s going to cost you more to get to the entire game: Another $7.50 for the advanced pack, consisting of another mode and a bunch of skins, and another $1.25 each for the full allotment of levels for mission mode and puzzle mode. Verdict: Try before dropping what is already a large amount of points on a game and then being prodded to spend more on it around every corner.

“UNO” would be a port of the card game you played on family vacations and when the electricity went out as a child. Live Arcade needs more stuff like this (I’d kill for Live “Scrabble”). You can just chill out and play UNO with people online–it’s a very polished adaptation. Also, some people have Xbox Live cameras so you can make fun of the people with and laugh at their reaction after you play that skip card. Verdict: Buy, assuming you have an Xbox Live Gold account and can play online multiplayer.

“Assault Heroes” is some kind of unholy combination of “Smash TV” and “Geometry Wars,” with a dash of “Contra.” For $10, you get a top down shooter with dual analog controls and getting in and out of vehicles. It controls like pie, and not just any pie, but the most awesome pie you have ever tasted. Unfortunately, the game is a bit short, but the achievements give it a bit of longevity. Verdict: Buy.

“Zuma” is a Popcap game, which means you can get it on PCs, Macs, iPods, cell phones and probably abacuses. It’s just as fun here, and controls well using the 360’s analog stick. Side note: The entire concept is a blatant ripoff of a 1998 Japanese arcade game called “Puzz Loop.” $10. Verdict: Try, you make the call. It’s also on the DS as “Magnetica.”

I would say one major downside to the Arcade is the glut of, well, arcade games. The service is cluttered with them. This in itself is not terrible, though more original content is always preferable to a reheated arcade port. The problem is the Xbox 360’s D-pad. It’s just not any good for old-school stuff that requires precision like Pac-Man. For the lack of a better term, it’s mushy. It makes playing games like Pac-Man an exercise in frustration.

“Gauntlet” and “Smash TV” are online-capable ports of the classic cooperative arcade games that control well, unlike many. Nothing exciting to report, but they’re only $5 each and awesome for chilling out and playing coop, same screen or online. Verdict: Buy.

“Street Fighter II” is self-explanatory. Unfortunately, the Internet play is laggy if you can even find anyone playing, and it’s less-than-suited to the 360’s controller layout. Verdict: Try, and don’t buy for the Live play.

It’s worth noting for the broadband impaired that a fair few Live Arcade titles are on store shelves in a compilation called “Xbox Live Arcade Unplugged Vol. 1” or some such wordage. However you have to do it, I definitely recommend checking out some of the games tucked away in that Xbox Live Arcade button in your Games blade. There are some real gems, and unlike Nintendo’s Virtual Console games, the ports on here get enhancements like leaderboards, achievements and online play. New game every Wednesday, guys.